Although May is still three months away, we’ve already begun preparing for its arrival. On our to-do list: finding a new home in the East Bay (which entails vetting houses/apartments/neighborhoods, applying, “winning,” signing a lease, coughing up a first and last, etc.), making reservations for our Europe trip (which means finally deciding on our main stops and reserving plane and train tickets and Airbnb rooms), and then, eventually, packing up all our belongings and moving them into our new home before Eric’s graduation and our departure date three days later. In some ways, this process is a bit like the endless staircase we found while hiking in the Berkeley hills over the weekend. At first, the climb seems all too doable and you forge ahead confidently and quickly…until you realize that each new step is a little bit harder than the last and you still can’t see the top of the stairs. Still, while I can’t yet see over the hill of planning and arrangements that we have in store for us, I know that the end will come eventually, just as the month of May will. Time keeps on slippin’ slippin’ slippin’…
On a more positive note, this Europe trip is going to be the perfect icing on the cake of transition we’re making over here! I can’t wait to share with you all the stops we have planned. If you have any recommendations for towns & cities that we must see while in France, Italy, and Spain, please leave a comment below! We’re still making final arrangements and can certainly be persuaded to visit places not yet on our list!
On Monday, Kelly and I were talking about how crazy it feels that we’ll be turning 23 this year. As she shared with me her “life plan” for the next 7 years of her twenties, I felt this bubble of panic rise in my chest. Before I turned 20 I was so excited for adulthood. I imagined where I’d be living, what work I’d be doing, what kind of fun things I’d get up to. Suddenly I’d be wise and successful. Everything I touched would turn to gold. And while many of my teenage dreams have been realized (college degree, boyfriend, Berkeley living), I don’t feel that balance or togetherness that I also imagined would accompany twentydom. In some ways, I feel much more confused now than I ever did when I was 17. Because now I’m not naive enough to think that by 26 I’ll have it figured out. Or that when I reach my 30s I’ll achieve that zen-like balance that I thought was part-and-parcel of growing up. Blerg-pants.
Today, my good friend Meghan shared this beautiful quote on her blog and the sentiment really resonated with me.
Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.
As Ingrid says, all we can do is keep breathing. In fact, let’s listen to her and cry/breathe a while together.
Top image via Claire Cottrell
Last week, Eric and I headed out to Daly City to hang with our pals that live right on the bluffs. Though we spent the morning indoors making (and eating) crepes and truffles, we were called to the backyard where hang gliders dotted the sky. It was a surreal moment, sitting right on the cliff edge and watching these people fly past only 100 feet away. Every once in awhile we’d hear a big “Whoop!” as a glider rose higher in the air. The thrill of flying was infectious! Of course, not infectious enough that I have any plans on gliding myself. No no, I’d rather partake in the sport of watching these crazy souls soar.
It’s been awhile! I am back from a long blog-hiatus and am as refreshed and as busy as ever. Since much of my after-work (think after 5pm) time has been devoted to Beginners of late, KU has been simmering contentedly on the back burner of the stove of life for a few months now. And while it has been a whole lot of fun to work on new projects, and while I can’t wait to see what that beautiful venture (Beginners, obvs) has in store, I think it’s time to get back to my blogging roots and start posting here again.
I must confess, not much has happened since I stopped writing in October. I am still living and loving in Berkeley, still figuring out what my passions are, still trying to illuminate career goals. The usual. I spent most of December and part of January in Santa Cruz with my family (more on this break of sorts next time), venturing down the coast for a few days to see more relatives too. It’s been lovely. The following images were taken over the last month; the first few on a day-hike at Wilder Ranch in Santa Cruz, the second to last in LA, the final on our journey back home.
Eric and I are now back in Berkeley. Over the last few days we’ve (ahem, he’s…) been assembling a small-scale aquaponics thingy in our room. We’ve now been to Home Depot, like, way too many times. But it’s coming along nicely, I think! We’ll be posting about it over on his blog, Electric Tree House, over the next few weeks…if it works, that is. I’ve been working on new websites for both my padres and cooking up a storm! For example, this evening we made bahn mi and vermicelli bowls. Can you say, no yell, YUMMY! And last night we made feijoada, a DELICIOUS, and I’m talking fucking-fantastic, Brazilian bean dish. Try it! It’s amazing!
It’s a little past 10pm now and Eric and I have made a pact to be in bed by 11pm as much as possible this year, so I must sign off! Let’s see if we can wake up at 8am (also in the pact) and do yoga (that’s in the pact I have with myself) too. I’ll let you know!
While I didn’t get to see too much of the 2012 Olympic games, I made it my mission to watch Gabby Douglas, synchronized diving, swimming, beach volleyball, and fencing (though that grew old real quick…every round it appeared that both athletes thought they had “won” the points). So many amazing athletes!
I recently stumbled upon these beautiful black and white images from the London Olympics of 1908. I just love the juxtaposition between the games of old and the games of last week. Click through images for original source.
You know what I want to do right now? Jump in some cool cool waters. This week has been, pardon my french, ballz hot up in here and I could use a refreshing dip. Thank the heavens today is supposed to be the last of the heat wave. I hope this isn’t a little taste of what’s to come this summer. Whadya say, Weather Gods? How ’bout we make this a chill one for the tri-state, eh? In other news, Camden ran out of water yesterday. So there’s THAT. Today’s photos are full of the good stuff: friends, various shades of blue, and lots of H2O. From the top we have: Allie Mount, Randy P. Martin, and Peter Baker. Click through for direct links to the images.
Today is harvest day at the farm (as it is every Friday) and I’m so happy that my beautiful Kelly-bean is here to help us! I have been so looking forward to this visit! Stay tuned to hear all about the crazy things we get up to in the city of brotherly love this coming week.
In honor of our harvest, this Flickr Friday is dedicated to all things planty. From the top we have the wonderful: Jacinta Moore, Zoë Biggs, and Stephanie Congdon Barnes. Click through the images for a direct link.
With the end of my fellowship year fast approaching, thoughts turn to summer adventures. I so look forward to relaxing in my family’s home in Santa Cruz and going camping with Eric in Yosemite, two of the best summer treats this California girl could ask for! Today’s lovely images are by Justin Waldron and aanaanaa. Click through for a direct link.
Last week I spent a glorious evening developing prints from some of those classy contact sheet photos I posted about a couple weeks back. It was a very absorbing two hours, I can tell you! First, I made some lovely prints of Taqiy’s hand (no. 12). I say prints because there were several. Turns out that even when you do a bunch of test strips, getting that “just right” print is easier said than done. I learned many a lesson about dodging and contrast and patience. I’d post my final product but I’m thinking of giving it away as a gift. Instead, here’s a little something I whipped out in the final fifteen minutes of class. I took this photo of Nora Salzman‘s painted figurine installation at Fleisher Art Memorial a month or so ago. These little dudes are made from polymer clay and styled with acrylic paint, standing tall at 9 inches. Cute no? I especially like the first guy’s saggy shorts. This week I plan to burn some of that blank space at the bottom and right side so the white doesn’t seep out of the frame. It will be tough and grand. I’ll post more photos as they develop (hah!)!